Figuratively Speaking
by Hufflepuffling
Summary: Bobby and Remy take their two children to church on Easter Sunday. SLASH!


He was exasperated and his face didn't conceal it. "Melisande," he said, feeling very much like a broken record, "You have to wear your dress today."   
  
"I don't want to," she repeated, her poked out lower lip illustrating her defiance.   
  
Bobby sighed, rubbed his already aching temples. "Melly, it's not negotiable. You have to wear your dress." He lifted up the pile of cotton-candy-pink taffeta and lace from her bed and thrust it at her.   
  
"But why?"   
  
"Yes, Daddy. Why?" Remy had chosen that precise moment to step into the room, a smirk touching his lips. He pulled Melisande up onto his lap and bounced her on his knees. The two, with their matching red and black eyes, looked up at him, waiting for their answer.   
  
"Everyone wears a dress on Easter Sunday," was what sputtered out.   
  
Melisande blinked up at him with innocent little eyes. "But Etienne's not wearing one. Neither are you or Daddy. Are you going to wear one too?"   
  
Bobby glowered at Remy when he failed horribly at disguising his laughter under a cough. Remy sent him a cocky little smile.   
  
"Honey…" Bobby bent down in front of Remy and Melisande, holding her perfect little hands in his own. "Dresses are for pretty little girls like you. Besides, if you don't wear your dress, Etienne's going to be all dressed up in his suit and tie and everyone is going to be talking about how handsome he looks. You have to show him up Melly. That's what girls are for." He nuzzled her fingers affectionately. "They have to make us guys look bad."   
  
Her smile was honey-sweet. "Okay, I'll wear it."   
  
Bobby smiles, kissed her cheek. "Good. Daddy's going to help you change, okay? I have to go get my shirt on." He ran back to the bedroom that he and Remy shared, pulled on a clean shirt. He fumbled at bit with the buttons, managed to get them all fastened, and tucked his shirt in. He picked up the tie he had left on the bed, hung it around his neck, and studied the ends stupidly.   
  
Strong arms wrapped around him from behind and Bobby smiled as Remy knotted his tie for him. After finishing, he spun Bobby around, made a few adjustments to the collar of his shirt and took the time to press a kiss to his mouth.   
  
"Je t'adore." Remy whispered it in that wonderful accent of his. That accent had been one of the unnerving things that had first infatuated Bobby. "Are ye' ready, chere?"   
  
Nodding slightly, Bobby slipped on his coat. "Melisande was close to driving me up the wall."   
  
They walked out to the living room, called for the kids. Etienne show down the stairs, catapulting into Bobby's arms. "Hey, kiddo." Etienne wrapped his skinny arms around his father's neck, settled his head on his shoulder. Remy followed them out the door with Melisande, pausing to lock the door behind them.   
  
Etienne and Melisande climbed into their carseats and Remy gave Bobby a brilliant smile as they both ducked their heads in the back to buckle them in.   
  
*  
  
They got to church with less than ten minutes to spare. They were walking through the door when Melisande tugged on Bobby's pant leg. "Daddy, it itches," she whined, tugging at the bodice of her dress.   
  
"Melly, I promise, the second church is over, you can take it off." He gathered her and her piles of pink and carried her inside.   
  
Together they piled into one of the very back pews. It was necessary because Etienne was notorious for growing bored with things pretty quickly, and irritating the living hell out of people when he had nothing else to do.   
  
The idea proved intelligent, as moments into the service, Etienne was pummeling Remy with all kinds of questions. It felt like the service was lasting forever with Etienne's incessant talking and Melisande's itching and scratching at the collar of her dress. But finally, thankfully, the service ended, and after telling the kids to sit still in the pew, Remy and Bobby made their way through the crowd to the front seats to speak with Remy's Tante Mattie.   
  
She veritably tackled Remy into an embrace, and then copied her motions with Bobby.   
  
"'appy Easter, petit's!" She draped an arm around the both of them, cozying up with a wicked grin. "Ready to 'ave more bebes for me ta spoil?"   
  
Remy snickered as Bobby's expression changed from cheeriness to sheer terror. "We'll have more kids when we can handle the ones we have. This morning, Melisande decided that she was going to try her very best to make me want to rip out my hair. And Remy was no help whatsoever. If anything, he was encouraging-"   
  
"I wouldn' 'ave, honest, but ye get de cutest look on ye face when ye're frustrated. I couldn't help m'self."   
  
Bobby glared, but it was good-natured. "You watch it Remy LeBeau. Don't think I won't hold back sex." This sent Tante Mattie into peals of laughter. Remy gaped at him, not entirely sure that it wasn't a threat.   
  
"Ye're… kiddin', oui?" Tante Mattie snorted, slapped her thigh as her hearty belly laughs subsided into giggles.   
  
"You boys, so perfect t'getha." She smoothed the skirt of her all-too-flamboyant dress. Somehow, the torrent of oranges and pinks and yellows worked for her. It was as if her personality matched her outfit. "Ye're comin' ovah for dinner t'night, oui?" It was a statement. Not a question. "I've got Easter baskets for Melisande and Etienne."   
  
Remy grinned. "Ye still stuffin' plastic eggs wit twenty dolla bills?"   
  
"I'll neva stop. Now where be my bebes?" Bobby gestured to the back pews, a little preoccupied with looking for something in his wallet.   
  
"Sitting back there, probably not behaving." For some reason that Bobby didn't understand, Remy and Tante Mattie burst into hysterics. He figured it was some joke he had missed, and continued what he was doing.   
  
"Chere?" Remy touched his arm. "Ye need ta stop speakin' figuratively ta Melisande." Bobby looked up at him, perplexity playing over his features. "Ye remember sayin' dat she could take 'er dress off de second church was over?" Bobby's eyes flashed.   
  
Melisande was standing in her underwear on the pew where they'd left her, the poofy, pink dress in a pile beside her. 


End file.
